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 Post subject: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2011 2:46 am 
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I've been thinking lately about just how absurd all these doomsday prophecies are, and the people who take these quacks seriously. I haven't seen such popular widespread fear and paranoia since Y2K. And I'm thinking: let's exploit it! :lol:

Who's interested in a collaborative satire? That is, each of us does a piece (or pieces depending upon enthusiasm) parodying the fear mongering and discussing really horrible, yet totally ludicrous, ways the world may (not) end in 2012. For example: Zombie Apocalypse? Nazi Zombie Apocalypse? Nazi Communist Zombie Apocalyse? ;) The Chinese taking over the Earth? The population of India jumping up and down so hard the Earth tilts its axis? Bold and the Beautiful marathons? Let your imaginations run wild; the zanier, the better!

Best thing is, we still have plenty of time to plan segments before the big day (21 December 2012); we could upload segments on Fanfiction or whatever site leading up to the big day.


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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2011 3:06 am 
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Hmmm. Interesting idea, though I must confess I don't have any specific thoughts or suggestions off the top of my head...but, will think on it.

Could be an entertaining sort of game in any case.

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2011 7:47 am 
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Oh, and did you notice? Don't Panic? :arrow: Please Panic? How would that be for a title? :P

Now it's time for me to start trolling the web and acquiring obscure pop culture references. 8-)


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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 7:09 pm 
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Good morning everyone, to the end of the world. ;)


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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 4:05 pm 
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snowman1989 wrote:
Good morning everyone, to the end of the world. ;)
Hey, it's still 2011! What gives? :?

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 9:42 pm 
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I am experiencing an existential horror the likes of which I cannot possibly hope to survive: Exam prep. :o

Please God, if you are listening and/or exist, smite me now.


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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 5:38 pm 
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Perhaps I should kick things off...we've only got a little over a year left!

* * *


Quote:
Steve aimed his rifle and fired a three-round burst.

The phosphorescent glow of the ambulatory human skeleton was uninterrupted as the first two rounds hit ribs and went straight through, leaving only a few wisps of glowing material in the air to mark their passage as the separated pieces of bone fell to the tile floor. The third round hit its spine, and its skull and upper body fell away from the rest of it.

The newly bisected monster didn't appear to notice that it was newly bisected. Its arms were attempting to drag the skull forward, its finger bones scraping on tile, while its legs were keeping up with baby steps.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Jason sprinting towards him. Carrying what appeared to be a shotgun. Soon enough he fired that shotgun, pulverizing the skeleton and dropping its pieces to the floor. He followed up by throwing some kind of plastic bladder at the still-glowing pile of fibers and fibrous pieces, a splash of water marking the impact.

A water balloon? Steve was about to question Jason's sanity, and perhaps his parentage, but then he saw the glow quickly fading.

“Well,” Jason remarked, “merry frelling Christmas.”

“Amen,” Steve answered. Then he shook his head quickly, in an attempt to refocus. “Where'd you get the shotgun?”

Jason stared like back as if it question was crazy. “Dude, Jim's Sporting Goods is the only thing worthwhile store in this entire mall! Did you never go shopping here, or were you just glued to the jewelry?”

Steve rolled his eyes. At least he probably wouldn't have to worry about returning anything to Amazon now....”And the water balloon?”

“Heard it on the radio, Jerry's at HQ managing communication. Something about water blocking the radiation.”

“Wait. You mean we're in the middle of a radioactive Christmas zombie apocalypse?”

“Radioactive Christmas skeleton apocalypse,” Jason corrected.

“What's the difference?”

“Umm...twice the actions, half the hit dice?”

Steve growled. “How can you be thinking about games at a time like this?”

“I suppose I could panic, let stress burn up all my energy, and get clawed or nuked or whatever. But I'd rather not. In the meantime, I think this area is clear. Nice thing about glowing skeletons is they're really easy to see, even before they come around corners.”

Rather than acknowledge his own stressed state, Steve chose to slightly shift the topic. “Why is this happening now, anyway? All the 2012 end-of-the-world crap was supposed to happen four days ago.”

“Turns out the 'end of the Mayan calendar' stuff was a hoax. But it's, like, December 12th in the Julian calendar or something. December 12th, 2012. Twelve-twelve-twelve, that's like twice six-six-six. It's the number of two beasts! Which is totally not the beast with two backs!”

“Totally,” Steve said in monotone. “So what should we do next?”

“Jerry said it's gotten bad out there, those skeleton things are outrunning pedestrians, so we're supposed to bunker down. He said a couple of guys have fortified Rachel's Kitchen...or as it's been redubbed, Hel's Kitchen. Figure we should head there, and transfer some merchandise from Jim's while we're at it.”

“Do you really think we're prepared for a radioactive apocalypse, of any sort?”

“Sure, I've got Christmas at Ground Zero on my iPod.”

“That's not exactly what I meant....”

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 3:49 am 
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The Phiend wrote:
Steve aimed his rifle and fired a three-round burst.

The phosphorescent glow of the ambulatory human skeleton was uninterrupted as the first two rounds hit ribs and went straight through, leaving only a few wisps of glowing material in the air to mark their passage as the separated pieces of bone fell to the tile floor. The third round hit its spine, and its skull and upper body fell away from the rest of it.

The newly bisected monster didn't appear to notice that it was newly bisected. Its arms were attempting to drag the skull forward, its finger bones scraping on tile, while its legs were keeping up with baby steps.
Man, that's the problem with glowing ambulatory...uh...wait, what?
Quote:
Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Jason sprinting towards him. Carrying what appeared to be a shotgun. Soon enough he fired that shotgun, pulverizing the skeleton and dropping its pieces to the floor. He followed up by throwing some kind of plastic bladder at the still-glowing pile of fibers and fibrous pieces, a splash of water marking the impact.

A water balloon? Steve was about to question Jason's sanity, and perhaps his parentage, but then he saw the glow quickly fading.
While vaguely amusing, what does Jason's parentage have to do with anything?
Quote:
“Well,” Jason remarked, “merry frelling Christmas.”
:rbg: :ugeek: :booya: :ugeek: :rbg:
Quote:

“Amen,” Steve answered. Then he shook his head quickly, in an attempt to refocus. “Where'd you get the shotgun?”

Jason stared like back as if it question was crazy. “Dude, Jim's Sporting Goods is the only thing worthwhile store in this entire mall! Did you never go shopping here, or were you just glued to the jewelry?”
Rampant typo and possible metrosexuality alert! :P
Quote:
Steve rolled his eyes. At least he probably wouldn't have to worry about returning anything to Amazon now....”And the water balloon?”

“Heard it on the radio, Jerry's at HQ managing communication. Something about water blocking the radiation.”

“Wait. You mean we're in the middle of a radioactive Christmas zombie apocalypse?”

“Radioactive Christmas skeleton apocalypse,” Jason corrected.

“What's the difference?”

“Umm...twice the actions, half the hit dice?”

Steve growled. “How can you be thinking about games at a time like this?”

“I suppose I could panic, let stress burn up all my energy, and get clawed or nuked or whatever. But I'd rather not. In the meantime, I think this area is clear. Nice thing about glowing skeletons is they're really easy to see, even before they come around corners.”

Rather than acknowledge his own stressed state, Steve chose to slightly shift the topic. “Why is this happening now, anyway? All the 2012 end-of-the-world crap was supposed to happen four days ago.”
That's really not something that would cross my mind, like, ever in a situation like this...though I suppose that's probably not the point.
Quote:
“Turns out the 'end of the Mayan calendar' stuff was a hoax. But it's, like, December 12th in the Julian calendar or something. December 12th, 2012. Twelve-twelve-twelve, that's like twice six-six-six. It's the number of two beasts! Which is totally not the beast with two backs!”
Image
Quote:
“Totally,” Steve said in monotone. “So what should we do next?”

“Jerry said it's gotten bad out there, those skeleton things are outrunning pedestrians, so we're supposed to bunker down. He said a couple of guys have fortified Rachel's Kitchen...or as it's been redubbed, Hel's Kitchen. Figure we should head there, and transfer some merchandise from Jim's while we're at it.”
Oh so they clipped the "Rac" but left it with one "l" on the end...aha...ha...clever...ahem.

Okay, seriously...even though it's really not very serious...it's more than anyone else has come up with so far! :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:15 am 
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CWS wrote:
Man, that's the problem with glowing ambulatory...uh...wait, what?
I see you found the hook that pulls readers into the story :-P

CWS wrote:
Quote:
Steve was about to question Jason's sanity, and perhaps his parentage, but then he saw the glow quickly fading.
While vaguely amusing, what does Jason's parentage have to do with anything?
I believe the term is "crazy bastard".

CWS wrote:
Quote:
Jason stared like back as if it question was crazy. “Dude, Jim's Sporting Goods is the only thing worthwhile store in this entire mall! Did you never go shopping here, or were you just glued to the jewelry?”
Rampant typo and possible metrosexuality alert! :P
Yes, and accusation thereof. In that order. (It's very annoying when a reword splits existing words to separate lines, and then they're overcompensated).

CWS wrote:
Quote:
Steve rolled his eyes. At least he probably wouldn't have to worry about returning anything to Amazon now....”And the water balloon?”

“Heard it on the radio, Jerry's at HQ managing communication. Something about water blocking the radiation.”

“Wait. You mean we're in the middle of a radioactive Christmas zombie apocalypse?”

“Radioactive Christmas skeleton apocalypse,” Jason corrected.

“What's the difference?”

“Umm...twice the actions, half the hit dice?”

Steve growled. “How can you be thinking about games at a time like this?”

“I suppose I could panic, let stress burn up all my energy, and get clawed or nuked or whatever. But I'd rather not. In the meantime, I think this area is clear. Nice thing about glowing skeletons is they're really easy to see, even before they come around corners.”

Rather than acknowledge his own stressed state, Steve chose to slightly shift the topic. “Why is this happening now, anyway? All the 2012 end-of-the-world crap was supposed to happen four days ago.”
That's really not something that would cross my mind, like, ever in a situation like this...though I suppose that's probably not the point.
Which, the Amazon thing? That would be because he was just (rhetorically) asked if he ever went shopping at the mall...and the answer is infrequently due to online shopping...It's one of those chains of thought (although a less complicated example) that does make sense, but doesn't make a good thing to dwell on.

CWS wrote:
Quote:
“Turns out the 'end of the Mayan calendar' stuff was a hoax. But it's, like, December 12th in the Julian calendar or something. December 12th, 2012. Twelve-twelve-twelve, that's like twice six-six-six. It's the number of two beasts! Which is totally not the beast with two backs!”
Image
...Correct.

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:23 am 
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The Phiend wrote:
Which, the Amazon thing?
No, the "why is this happening now instead of four days ago" thing. I'd be more like "why is this happening AT ALL?"

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 4:35 am 
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CWS wrote:
The Phiend wrote:
Which, the Amazon thing?
No, the "why is this happening now instead of four days ago" thing. I'd be more like "why is this happening AT ALL?"
Oh that. Well, if you combine the stark contrast between the relief after that day had passed and the panic going on now, and added in an attempt to redirect the mental attention of the other participant in the conversation....Some personalities would come up with that kind of thing.

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 7:52 pm 
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Huh. It's too bad this isn't a competition, or I could be going on about how I'm all set to achieve victory by default. As it is, I may need to make extensive use of the word "slacker".

Unless of course, you (yes, you reading this right now) produce a contribution in the next ten days....

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 6:43 am 
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The Phiend wrote:
Huh. It's too bad this isn't a competition, or I could be going on about how I'm all set to achieve victory by default. As it is, I may need to make extensive use of the word "slacker".

Unless of course, you (yes, you reading this right now) produce a contribution in the next ten days....

Shit, I completely spaced this out...no surprise there I'm sure. :oops:

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 2:47 pm 
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CWS wrote:
The Phiend wrote:
Huh. It's too bad this isn't a competition, or I could be going on about how I'm all set to achieve victory by default. As it is, I may need to make extensive use of the word "slacker".

Unless of course, you (yes, you reading this right now) produce a contribution in the next ten days....

Shit, I completely spaced this out...no surprise there I'm sure. :oops:
Not since everyone spaced it out until December last year as well, no.

But this changes nothing. I want more contributions, not excuses. :imyourdaddy:

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 3:48 am 
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Well, I do believe I've the farthest back from GMT of any poster here, so the 21st should be well past for everyone by now. And the world is still here, which is more than can be said for any new attempts to follow with the theme of the thread. :roll:


CWS wrote:
Shit, I completely spaced this out...no surprise there I'm sure. :oops:
And continued to do so, no less. Wish I could say I was surprised, but surprise could only have been due to negligence on my part. Slacker.

snowman1989 wrote:
Best thing is, we still have plenty of time to plan segments before the big day (21 December 2012)
I'm highly curious why you didn't manage to provide a section, segment, or whatever; seeing as there was over a year and a half to come up with something, and you did start the thread in the first place. Slacker.

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 3:58 am 
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The Phiend wrote:
CWS wrote:
Shit, I completely spaced this out...no surprise there I'm sure. :oops:
And continued to do so, no less. Wish I could say I was surprised, but surprise could only have been due to negligence on my part. Slacker.
I got hung up on this step.

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 Post subject: Re: 2012. Please Panic.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 4:45 pm 
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The Phiend wrote:
snowman1989 wrote:
Best thing is, we still have plenty of time to plan segments before the big day (21 December 2012)
I'm highly curious why you didn't manage to provide a section, segment, or whatever; seeing as there was over a year and a half to come up with something, and you did start the thread in the first place. Slacker.


I dropped the ball big time. :oops:


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