Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
I thought I'd start a thread where we could put up anything we find on the Net that just... doesn't fit anywhere else, makes no sense whatsoever and could conceivably be used in psychological warfare.
A man in Kentucky claims a fight over a lawnmower led to his beard being cut off and stuffed in his mouth before he was forced to eat it.
Harvey Westmoreland told police the argument between himself, his brother and two other men started when one of the latter drunkenly offered to buy said grass-cutting tool.
He explained that the pair, James Hill and Troy Holt, had invited him and his brother to their house on the day of the incident in May.
'My brother was cleaning out the stalls out there for Troy, you know, working for him,' he remembered.
'They called and wanted me to come around there and when I got there, I realised they were already drunk.'
In the course of their exchange, Troy apparently offered to buy Harvey's lawnmower for $250.
'I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him,' noted Westmoreland.
'One thing led to another and, before I knowed it [sic], there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire.
'They cut my beard and forced me to eat it.'
'OMG is this for real? It's like a symphony of stereotypes!' commented one viewer of YouTube footage of the incident.
'Yo buddy, where's Cletus?' mused another.
'Sounds like he had a close shave with death,' was the inevitable quip from another viewer.
Hill and Holt, who pleaded guilty to the attack, are expected to be sentenced in court this week.
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Yarg, that's gross.
So, you don't want to be out done, eh? Consider your challenge accepted, CWS!
Here's an ad from the late '70's from NZ for Crunchie Bars, where a train robbery goes completely out of control and common sense is catapulted out the window. This is how you make a short, but highly entertaining and awesome ad.
Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:17 am Posts: 3288 Location: NoDak, U.S.A.
snowman1989 wrote:
Here's an ad from the late '70's from NZ for Crunchie Bars, where a train robbery goes completely out of control and common sense is catapulted out the window. This is how you make a short, but highly entertaining and awesome ad.
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
But are you sure that's from the 1970s? Frankly, the production values look far too good for that.
Yep, I'm pretty sure. I mean, it's not too far fetched if you think about it. After all, we've had colour film since the 1930's that's recorded Hitler's speeches and meetings, and Un Chien Andalou had some awesome effects even though it was 1929.
Speaking of which, have you ever seen Un Chien Andalou? The first thing I thought after watching it was:
Don't worry, it's a short film (about 15 minutes) and Youtube can't get sued and take it off. It's public domain.
WARNING Contains really disturbing and trippy scenes. Especially the first two minutes. You might just vomit up your spleen. I can't guarantee you'll still have your sanity afterward. I don't say this lightly.
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Oh, no, I didn't go too far did I? I was meaning to save that one for my Ace in the Hole. Sorry. I just get competitive when it gets to stuff like this.
You aren't too psychologically traumatised, are you CWS? Buddy? Talk to me please, you're scaring me!
Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:17 am Posts: 3288 Location: NoDak, U.S.A.
snowman1989 wrote:
Oh, no, I didn't go too far did I? I was meaning to save that one for my Ace in the Hole. Sorry. I just get competitive when it gets to stuff like this.
You aren't too psychologically traumatised, are you CWS? Buddy? Talk to me please, you're scaring me!
Actually, I just wasn't in the mood to watch a 15-minute silent film until now...
...although now that I have, I think it skates very close to the 'prohibited content' line, if not crossing it altogether. However, upon reviewing the forum rules I realized that was not defined as well as it could be, so I've now updated them, and no other action will be taken since that was as much my fault as yours. But do be mindful of that in the future.
So that's where David Lynch got all his ideas from...
As far as the production values in that other commercial, I was referring to the relative lack of film grain, which is highly noticeable in most other film media dating back that far. Unless it's been remastered or something, which is extremely unlikely in the case of a TV commercial. It looks more like mid- to late '80s quality to my eye, if even that old.
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
OK, although I did give a warning, I agree I took it too far that time. Sorry CWS, I'll tone it down in future.
The ad I showed you earlier probably was remastered a bit because it became insanely popular back home, and was kept on the airwaves until the late 90's or so. It isn't anymore due to silly copyrighting issues or something, but there you are.
Alright, I'll show you something that is not only safe for the whole family, but is wicked awesome too. I had no idea that any species of shrimp could do this, but WOW!
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Now from something real cool to an epic failure of modern bioengineering. With all the awesome things we could do with genetics nowadays (but don't for fear of environmental or ethical concerns), we came up with this?!?
Yes, you read correctly. Some breeders thought it would be a great idea to create a breed of goats that keels over and plays dead whenever it gets excited. Come on, I thought America was cool. I thought you'd have created a race of fire breathing, venom spitting, leathery winged, chainsaw weilding monsters by now. But fainting goats????!!!!!!
Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:24 am Posts: 947 Location: Oregon, USA
snowman1989 wrote:
Now from something real cool to an epic failure of modern bioengineering. With all the awesome things we could do with genetics nowadays (but don't for fear of environmental or ethical concerns), we came up with this?!?
Yes, you read correctly. Some breeders thought it would be a great idea to create a breed of goats that keels over and plays dead whenever it gets excited. Come on, I thought America was cool. I thought you'd have created a race of fire breathing, venom spitting, leathery winged, chainsaw weilding monsters by now. But fainting goats????!!!!!!
"Modern" bioengineering? Myotonic goats date back to at least the 19th century. What the heck would you consider "ancient"?
And the chainsaw wielding was a failure. Too accident prone, and none of the movie/television companies took the special effects sale pitches seriously. Apparently it looked too fake.
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
I would consider the first domestication of livestock and plants, humanity's first act of bioengineering, to be ancient. That was well over 12,000 years ago. In terms of human history, which stretches back some 500,000 years or more (not counting our more primitive ancestors before modern homo sapiens sapiens) the 19th century was only a few minutes ago, and therefore modern. How's that for an answer Phiend?
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Anywho...
With the somewhat lively debate going on about Raven potentially having her own series, I thought I'd do something different and plaster in a few links from my favourite crack site, Superdickery!
For those unfamiliar with the site, Superdickery is where comic book fans with way too much time on their hands post up scans of comic book covers and pages that may seem weird, trippy, or just plain wrong when shown out of context. Most of the material is from the Silver Age Superman comics, where Superman acts like... well, a dick. Hence the name.
Here are but a few that tickled my fancy. No, not in that way!
Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:24 am Posts: 947 Location: Oregon, USA
In the interests of keeping the subject alive (and totally not just to showcase the new YouTube embedding BBcode), I present....Snickers advertisements featuring Mr. T.
Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:24 am Posts: 947 Location: Oregon, USA
snowman1989 wrote:
That, and I would have just shot those sods with real ammunition, and not chuck Snicker bars at them.
Given Mr. T's starring role on The A-Team, where copious amounts of firepower rarely produced personal injury, the Snickers might actually be more effective for him
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:31 am Posts: 1058 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Too true, too true.
But at least Mr. T's ads are worth the price of admission here. Now, I had no idea this chain of fast food outlet existed until recently, as NZ is dominated chiefly by McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, and Subway, but I am glad that this one has not taken root. Because I am convinced that the food that Quiznos serves is not only radioactive, but also causes irreparable genetic damage and brainwashes the poor customer into demented, furry zealots that eternally praise their evil patrons with mediocre guitar play, an outdated taste in hats, an IQ of approximately 20, and grating voices that sound like they are passing stools.
Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:17 am Posts: 3288 Location: NoDak, U.S.A.
My brothers like Quizno's. I've eaten there a couple times, the food didn't agree with me.
However, the single worst fast food experience I have ever had was, unquestionably and by a wide margin, that White Castle we went to in Minneapolis back in...hmm, was it '98? I'm sure Zanth and/or Jude will remember it.
Joined: Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:24 am Posts: 947 Location: Oregon, USA
Quizno's is absolutely delicious. Although their marketing leaves something to be desired. It's as though some sort of ceremony splits off the higher spiritual essence of the each executive, with heightened consciousness of toasted bread and chicken carbonaras and raspberry chipotle sauce....Leaving a decrepit husk of necrotic flesh to gather into little balls and toss into the marketing department, to toil in anguish for eternity for the glory of sandwich-dom.
Actually, strike that. It now seems more likely that such waste was directly and accurately depicted in the commercials And their post-psycho-rat-blob commercials weren't notable in any fashion, possibly why the Quizno's in town went out of business. Oh well, Subway's good too.
Anyway...I'm not sure how to process this. Is this...awesome, corny? Both, concurrently?
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I was meaning to save that one for my Ace in the Hole. Sorry. I just get competitive when it gets to stuff like this. 
Come on, I thought America was cool. I thought you'd have created a race of fire breathing, venom spitting, leathery winged, chainsaw weilding monsters by now. But fainting goats????!!!!!! 
How's that for an answer Phiend? 
